Thursday, July 08, 2010

The Journey Begins

My nickname was Tubby. I was in elementary school, but not everyone called me that, just my best friend. But I always remember being called “Tubby”. I do remember a time, about the 5th or 6th grade that my mother bought me husky jeans, but that was okay because my cousin wore 6X clothes. My mother put me on a diet, once, for a couple of weeks. I guess I lost enough weight because I don’t remember it lasting that long. She fed me steak and other proteins… a real Dr. Atkins forerunner! But, in all that, I never considered myself fat. I didn’t run like the wind, even with my PF Flyers, but I could run. I could play softball, but was always the last one chosen. But when I look at pictures of myself from back then, with the exception of when I was on a diet, I didn’t look fat.

I think it was because I never could see myself as fat that I got fat. During my career as a soldier, I had to take an annual flight physical. In twenty years I never failed one, although a time or two I had to lose a few pounds. I was never put on what we called the fat boy program. If I had to lose a few pounds, I always did. Back in those days I was young and in my prime. I ran PT every day (despite what my children will tell you). I could outrun most of the young soldiers in my unit when I was 40. Once in Korea, when I was on the mountain at Evenreach for 4 months, I did pack on some weight. We were a self contained air traffic control outpost and we had our own chef. There were 5 of us assigned there, and whenever we would sit down to watch television, the chef brought us a hamburger or a piece of cake. While on shift, he would bring us food. Whenever I had to drive down to the base camp, I always had a huge packed lunch, usually a couple of steak sandwichs, chips, potato salad and dessert. Before long, I had ballooned up to 250 pounds. When I was reassigned back to Seoul, I went on a diet and lost 80 pounds and was 170 when I went home.

It was after I retired that I started gaining weight. There were times when I could keep it off really well, but those times started coming fewer and further between. I was doing no PT and running ice cream and cookie restaurants. Later I was always in jobs that required me to sit at a computer or desk and got very little exercise. I knew I was fat, but I never saw myself as fat, if that makes sense. One of the things that allowed me to keep deceiving myself was that my blood pressure and blood levels were those of a skinny dude! My cholesterol level never exceeded 150 at my heaviest, and was 105 at my retirement physical. So, I kept fooling myself. And yet, all the time I knew I was fat and needed to do something. In Korea I lost 80 pounds on the Dr. Atkins Diet, so over my life I would always try to pattern what I ate based on Atkins, but I was never able to do it. I have a weakness for fast food and never thought twice about having a burger or fries, if the opportunity was there to have them. In fact, I considered Whataburger as “fine dining”. Whenever I went TDY, I usually managed to lose a few pounds because I could stock my quarters with only those things I should eat. But even then, if a hamburger called my name, I was there. And despite what Jared says, you can “eat fresh” at Subway and still gain weight.

The final blow came a couple of years ago when I was going TDY to Hawaii. I had gone to the Oncologist for my semi-annual checkup and the blood pressure machine was on the fritz. The nurse told me I needed to go to my primary care doctor and have them take my blood pressure. Since I had never had high blood pressure in my life, and because I was flying to Hawaii in two days, I decided it could wait until I got back in two months. And off I flew to paradise. About a week or so later I got a call from my primary care doctor wanting me to come in and follow up on having my blood pressure checked. I explained I was TDY in Hawaii and would come in when I got home. So when I got home, I made an appointment and went in. For the first time in my life, my blood pressure was off the charts. The doctor immediately ordered an EKG and found that I was in atrial fibrillation. He ordered an immediate consultation with the Cardiologist. Jannie and I were planning a trip just before Thanksgiving to drive out to Fort Knox to see Hilary, Paul and the kids, and then stop in Arkansas for Thanksgiving with the family. The doctor said absolutely not! He finally said I could to Arkansas for Thanksgiving, but not Kentucky. Later, the Cardiologist determined that my A-Fib was being caused by hyperthyroidism and that I had to have my thyroid removed. In the meantime, I was put on some heavy drugs to lower my blood pressure and keep my blood from clotting to prevent a stroke. I had my thyroid removed and with some additional treatment, my heart was shocked back into rhythm.
With no thyroid, I gained more weight. I ballooned up to a size 50 pants. I can remember not too many years earlier when Todd and I were in Hacks Western Wear in Killeen, seeing a pair of size 50 Levis, and thinking that no one could really be that big. At the end, though, I wore size 50, and mostly because I couldn’t find a 52! I finally admitted to myself that I was now fat. I wondered if I could get the doctor to refer me for a gastric bypass. I was determined to ask him when I went in for my physical in a few weeks. At the doctor visit he told me that my last physical had all my blood numbers way elevated, although my blood pressure was being controlled by medication. He asked me if I had ever considered having a gastric bypass. I said “sign me up”.

The process from that day to the 29th of June, the day of my surgery, took about 7 months. But I did follow thru and had the surgery. I am now just a little more than a week past the procedure, and I am losing weight, learning to eat again, and changing my whole life style, at least as to how I see food in my life. My goal is to get back down to that 170 pounds I weighed when I got home from Korea those many years ago. Don’t know that I can get that far, but I will sure try. Today I am down 25 pounds from my official start weight, and I am down to wearing size 48 pants again. I feel good and am healing well. So the adventure begins. This is just the beginning of my weight loss story.