LOOK INTO MY EYE

“LOOK IN MY EYE! LOOK IN MY EYE!” shouted Elder Smith as he pinned me down and his face right in mine, and his glass eye in his hand. “NO, I DON’T WANT TO LOOK!” I yelled. "YOU'RE NOT GETTING UP TILL YOU LOOK!" he yelled back. Then I pushed him back, and it started all over again. We were laughing so hard we could barely breath!

Elder Smith lost his right eye in a farming accident when he was a little boy, and now as a 20 year old missionary, he had his 5th prosthetic eye, and now was trying to get me to look into the empty socket – and I didn’t want to look! I remember well that day, and how hard he tried to get me to look. But, I never looked at any time during the months we were together.

Now it is today, nearly a half century later, and it is me with the prosthetic eye. In the year 2000 I was diagnosed with a Choroidal Melanoma in my right eye. In layman's terms, I had skin cancer in my right eye. Unusual, indeed! The choroid layer of the eye has the same tissue as the epidermis or skin, therefore, it is possible to literally get skin cancer in the eye, although very rarely. And I am a rare breed and I got it! After the initial treatment of radiation, my tumor began to shrink and the prognosis seemed to be pretty good. The doctor said that I had to get to 10 years to have the procedure be considered a success and me to be officially “cancer free”. Then in 2005, the tumor began to grow again. The treatment was then considered to be a failure, and the only recourse was to have my right eye surgically removed.

This was not an easy thing for me to accept. I was losing a part of me, not like tonsils or a diseased appendix. I was losing an eye that still worked and of which I had no symptoms of being sick. In 2000, the choice was to remove the eye or have the radiation treatment. My daughter, Hilary’s suggestion was to have the eye removed and then have it replaced with a glass eye – so the kids would have something to dive after.

Now it is me with the glass eye. Actually, it isn’t glass, but acrylic. I posed for the eye as it was hand painted to match the left one. Upon close inspection, one can see some slight flaws, but all in all, it is an exact duplicate of my good eye. I have had doctors who have been amazed at how good it looks.

The kids don’t dive after it in the pool, but the first request I get whenever the kids are together is “Grandpa, take your eye out”. And little Jared is the funniest of all. He isn’t satisfied for me to just take my eye out. He likes to touch it and to wear it. I think I will always picture him with my eye on his forehead or in his eye. I wonder if he will be scarred for life?