GRUMPY OLD MAN

After today I have decided that I will never be old. Therefore, you cannot call me “old and grumpy” anymore, just “grumpy”. This morning I went to the gym to do my bike ride and I noticed all the old people in the parking area. The gym I go to is the city facility and the senior center is located right across the parking lot. A few months ago, when I decided to join the gym, someone told me that I could get a senior discount if I belonged to the senior center. So I went over to take the 50 cent tour of the place. Now, years ago, when my mother was alive and living here, she belonged to the senior center. I had no problem with that because, to me, she had been old my entire life. So she would go to the senior center and square dance (right Holly?), have lunch, do ceramics, and get free bread. So I figured that if I had to join to get the discount at the gym, I could use a free loaf of bread every now and then. I took the tour just before lunchtime the day I went. The gentleman giving me the tour was just a year or two younger than General Eisenhower….and I am sure he knew him personally. He told me the senior center had its own gym, which should have sent up a red flag right there. He took me in and told me that I could use the equipment at no charge, (there were several pieces, but only 1 of each) but that I had to first take a 4 week training course on the equipment before I could use it. He then took me to the “library”. There were about 50 books….but it also was equipped with two computers and their instructor would teach me how to use them. After the library we went to the lunch room. They serve lunch every day at 11:30 and dinner at 4:30. This gave me pause because the center is closed on the weekends, so I wondered where the old folks ate on Saturday and Sunday; but I digress. He told me I was there just in time for lunch …. and only $2.00. I looked into the dining area and I was reminded of the countless nursing homes I have visited over my life. It looked and smelled just like them all. By now I was so depressed I thanked the tour guide and told him I would get back with him if my wife and I decided we wanted to join. Then I decided to go to the gym facility and check it out. As a senior (over 55 – seniors get younger every year, it seems), I could join for only $10 a month. A quick tour and I knew this was okay. No classes, no ceramics, and no lunch. Before I left I was a full-fledged member of the Tommy Harris Fitness Center.

This morning, after my workout, I was sitting outside on a bench in front of the gym, cooling down; enjoying my music and the breeze, as I do every morning. I noticed that the parking lot was especially full because of some type of training for police officers taking place in the gym facility. Cars were moving up and down the parking aisles, drivers looking for places to park. It became obvious that the drivers were members of the senior center because they only looked for places near the center …. Up and down the aisles looking for a parking space to magically appear. Across the lot, away from the center, there was plenty of parking….but not near enough I guess. Reluctantly, some finally took spaces further away and took the long trek to the center. I could tell by the body language and hand gestures being displayed in conversations with others, that they were not happy that someone had the audacity to park in the senior side of the lot! (It sort of reminded me of the parking lot at my high school with underclassmen parking in the sacred senior side).

Then today I had to go to the PX to check on moving my prescriptions from Walgreens to the Darnell Pharmacy. I was also looking for a couple of items I needed to buy since I was there anyway. I became aware of an announcement being made over the PA system….it was the second or third time I heard it, but now I was listening to it…mostly because the sound of the voice was annoying. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special showing today of a product not normally available in the Exchange”, the announcement said. We are giving away a free sample of the product today only, in just a few minutes, to all adults in the Exchange who would like to have one. This product will be available here at Fort Hood and at no other Exchange in Texas. You have seen this product on QVC and the Home Shopping Network”. Now, I never watch either one, but that made me realize that I wasn’t interested in anything they were giving away. And never at anytime were we actually told what the product was. The demonstration and giveaway was taking place in the center of the store, where the toy department and garden department intersect. Now, I had to weave my way right thru that part of the store to get to the exit. My first reaction was “what is going on that there is such a bottleneck here? Then I realized that I was in the midst of the giveaway area. I also noticed that all the people clamoring around for a free sample were old. I wondered if the Senior Center knew all these people had escaped! Old gray haired women in sneakers and old potbellied men with khaki shorts, black loafers and long white socks that went halfway up between their calf and knee, milling around waiting for the coveted free thingamajig. It was more than I could stand and decided right then and there I would never be old and grumpy – just grumpy!